The Life of a Raven
by fanaticwr1t3r
Summary: In a random act of boredness, a TT Fanfic writer made a match-up between two of his favorite characters. It turns out, he got a better character than he expected. As this Raven gives him personal info, will he submit it as a story? Heck yes. Cheese
1. The Start

THE MOST EPIC MATCH-UP EVER

* * *

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

Vs.

RAVEN

* * *

ROUND 1, COMMENCE!

Arnold: Who's your daddy, and what does he do?

Raven: He ends the world. Why do you care?

Arnold: I'M DETECTIVE JOHN KIMBLE!

Raven: Right. And I'm the Queen of England.

Arnold: I'll be back.

Raven: Hopefully not.

Arnold: Yeah.

Raven: Are you some soundboard or something? The only things you're saying are lines from your movies. At least I can conjure up something on my own.

Arnold: Yes.

Raven: Right…

Arnold: Yeah.

Raven: Yeah… you're definitely a soundboard.

Arnold: Who's your daddy, and what does he do?

Raven: Something.

Arnold: Who's your daddy, who's your daddy, and what does he do?

Raven: Definitely a soundboard.

Arnold: NO!!

Raven: Ok, how about this… I win if he says something he's already said before.

Arnold:

Raven: My last sentence still stands.

Arnold: I'M DETECTIVE JOHN KIMBLE!

Raven: I win.

* * *

LIES. THIS WASN'T EPIC. That's it… I'm going to go up against her. WISH ME LUCK.

* * *

Me: Raven. You aren't hot.

Raven: Oh, that's right. That's exactly why there's tons of hentai of me and none of you.

Me: … Nobody would want hentai of me anyway.

Raven: Way to contradict yourself and make yourself look like an idiot.

Me: Me, an idiot? You're a cartoon character!

Raven: So, you're arguing with just a 'cartoon character'? Wow. I'll applaud your insanity then. Clap clap.

Me: Like you can talk. You ARE the cartoon character.

Raven: But I'm not real.

Me: Exactly.

Raven: So you're pretty much talking to yourself.

Me: Wait, no.

Raven: Oh, no, I'm just a fathom of what's left of your memory of Teen Titans then. That makes perfect sense.

Me: Uh?

Raven: Then again, you're too stupid to make me sound ANYTHING like myself, so I'm obviously just telepathically making you type this.

Me: I CAN'T TELL WHAT'S SARCASM ANYMORE!

Raven: Ok, here. Start from this line, and go up. Every other line starting from the line before this is sarcasm.

Me: Oh. So… Ohhh, okay, I'm back on track.

Raven: Good, now keep on arguing with me before this gets uninteresting.

Raven: Wait, it already is.

Me: What?

Raven: It's already getting boring right now.

Me: Don't say that, you'll destroy this story!

Raven: Uh… okay.

Me: So… uh…

Raven: These people…. Well, most of them, just lost complete interest in this, and are probably clicking off to view something else.

Raven: Then again, there's probably someone thinking before reading this that this is too good to miss out on.

Raven: News flash, you have a horrible sense of good writing.

Me: YOU'RE PUTTING ME DOWN FOR MY WRITING?

Raven: If you publish this on Fan-Fiction, you're not going to get a lot of views.

Me: Watch me.

Raven: Ok, fine, you will. But this won't get positive reviews.

Me: Really?

Raven: Right. So this is just a normal conversation then, right? So you won't upload this anywhere now.

Me: Yes.

Raven: Ok, so, just between you and me…

Raven: What do you think are the chances of Beast Boy and me together?

Me: H-what?…

Raven: You heard me.

Me: Yeah, I did, but… I don't get it.

Raven: I don't exactly hate him.

Me: Oh my god.

Raven: No, but I don't love him.

Me: Oh. What?

Raven: I just want your opinion on all this 'me and Beast Boy' talk I see around.

Me: Sure.

Raven: Do you… uhh… if anything really existed between me and him… not saying there is… because there isn't… would you… approve of it? Or what? What do you think about what people would think about it?

Me: Well… if anything did exist, I wouldn't mind it.

Raven: Fine, but what about other people?

Me: I can't speak for the majority of the fans…

Raven: So, what pairing with me in it has the most fans?

Me: Uh… you and Beast Boy.

Me: You and Robin are probably in second place, even though Robin and Starfire are officially together.

Raven: Gross.

Me: Huh?

Raven: Robin and me? Not happening.

Me: But, you're both the most alike. Both dark, dark pasts…

Raven: The most alike? Have you even been watching the episodes? Robin and Starfire have the best relationship. It doesn't matter if I have a lot of the same qualities he does… Robin and Starfire have that feeling for each other that just comes naturally.

Raven: It's not always the most alike that become soul-mates.

Me: Oh, right. Interesting…

Raven: Well, I'm going to go meditate now. If I go too long without focus, I start to go out of whack… so bye. I'm hoping to talk to you again soon. But whatever you do… don't save these and put them on Fan-Fiction. The last thing I need is a lot of people reading about my personal life.

Me: Wait, but we were only talking about, hypothetically speaking, if you and Beast Boy were actually a couple… how all of us 'fans' would react. If there's nothing there, how is that personal?

Raven: No. It's not personal. But still, don't put it on the site. Now, I'm going to go meditate. Bye.

Me: All right, goodbye then.

* * *


	2. The End?

* * *

Ok… well… I got Raven back this time. Let's hope I can pull this off…

Raven: I'm done meditating. And I sensed you uploading it to the site.

Me: Oh shit.

Raven: But, apparently, you did get positive reviews.

Raven: And really, nothing's going on between Beast Boy and me. Ever.

Me: Lies

Raven: No. No lies.

Me: Really?

Raven: Yes.

Me: Cool. I would totally lose my mind if you actually loved him…

Raven: Really?

Me: Oh God no. You don't-

Raven: I don't.

Me: Ok, because it's really looking like it.

Raven: I DON'T LOVE HIM.

Me: Oh, well then…

Me: I guess not.

Raven: … I hate you.

Me: What? WHY DID YOU INTERRUPT MY BORED FICTION RAMPAGE THEN?

Raven: I don't know. I guess I pointlessly thought you could do me a favor.

Me: What? What favor?

Raven: Not yet. I'm not telling you yet.

Me: Oh. Wait.

Me: So that's why I'm not dead yet, right?

Me: That makes sense…

Raven: Really. I'm more in control than that.

Me: Oh. Right.

Raven: Right.

Me: So… can I ask you some questions?

Raven: Go for it.

Me: Are you real or not?

Me: Because, uh, I didn't really establish that last chapter.

Raven: Oh, great, a big chaptered story…

Me: Huh?

Raven: Nothing.

Me: Did you just mumble something? Wait, what? I ACTAULLY HEARD THAT IN REAL LIFE?

Raven: Stop playing around.

Me: No, really.

Raven: … Do you want to make yourself look like a psycho or not?

Me: No…

Raven: Then shut up and go along with it.

Raven: Wait… YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TYPE THIS PART. DELETE IT.

Me: Uh, you know… whoever you are, this is all going into my story.

Raven: Fine. Go ahead and make yourself incredibly insane-looking. I don't care.

Me: Cool. BLAlahclVLOAL APPLE JUICE!

Raven: Great.

Me: Seriously, what's up with this? Are you hijacking my writing skills or something?

Me: How am I even getting you this accurate?

Me: And should I really be asking all this bullshit?

Raven: I can't tell you, No, I don't know, and not really.

Me: Ah, ok.

Me: YOU LOVE BEAST BOY!

Raven: …

Raven: SHUT UP.

Me: Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Me: I would mention what pairing I supported for BB before… but… I don't want to make you madder.

Raven: Try me.

Me: Really, you don't want to-

Raven: Tell me.

Me: Ok, BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

Me: BB and… Don't kill me.

Raven: Just SPIT IT OUT.

Me: Terra.

Raven: ………………………

Me: I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WOULDN'T WANT ME TO!

Raven: TERRA? TERRA BETRAYED US ALL. SHE'S NOTHING TO BEAST BOY. AND SHE'S NOTHING TO US. …

Me: Wow, Raven-style explosion in text.

Me: That'll boost the ratings…

Raven: Shut. Up.

Me: Oh God, don't kill me.

Raven: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Me:

* * *

-about 10 seconds later-

Raven: STOP TYPING!

Me: I CAN'T QUIT IT, THIS IS A STORY.

* * *

Raven: … I'm fine now. Thanks.

Me: Thanks? For what?

Raven: Giving me some time to stabilize.

Me: … I gave you time to stabilize?

Me: And wait, you're actually thanking someone for something?

Me: OOC much…

Raven: How can I bet out-of-character?

Me: Writers like me. That's how.

Raven: You didn't write me.

Me: Uh, I'm writing you right now.

Raven: So… I guess all that whispering was just-…

Me: … Whispering?

Raven: … Shh.

Me: Raven? This is creepy, now. What's going on?

Raven: I'm getting a bad vibe from somewhere. -- OH GOD! AAAAA-- .1scadfwqerq

Me: …

* * *

Me: Raven?

Me: Hello?

* * *

Me: Earth to Raven?

Me: Tamaran to Raven?

Me: Space to Raven?

Me: ARE YOU THERE?

* * *

Raven: Can't… move… can't… see…

Me: WELL WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

Raven: Don't…know…I'm…not…real…any…way…

Me: HELLO? MOTHERFUCKER, DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THIS.

Raven: Way… to… go… champ… you… just… made…a…_really_… strong… language…comm….en…t………………………

* * *

Me: Uh, Raven? Oh God.

Me: Don't tell me she's dead.

Me: Wait, and this is only going to be a 2 chapter story? Uh…

Me: OKAY, READERS, I'LL UPDATE AS SOON AS SHE COMES BACK.

Me: Don't panic, Raven isn't dead… I hope…

Me: SHE'S TOO AWESOME TO DIE!

* * *

Me: Okay, really, if her last words were a sarcastic remark to me… THAT'S SO DRAMATIC!

* * *

Me: Nothing to put here.

Me: RAVEN?

Me: Gah… HELLO?

Raven: You…'re… still… here? … Why… don't you leave… already? I'm…just…a piece of…fiction…

Me: I don't know. What's going on?

Raven: I can't…see… too dark…

Me: Really, are they taking you somewhere? Is there somebody around you?

Raven: Yes… they're… loading me… Oh God… FBI… this… is… b…a…

Me: FBI? What the fuck?

Raven: ddd….. …..

Me: Holy shit… I'll stop typing now.

* * *

Rate and Review please! :D

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